A Healing Postpartum Period & the Bittersweet Return to Work

Issue #6: I'm all in my feels about maternity leave being over! Plus: small ways to add luxury to your busy days, my latest recs + some recent Substack gems

Welcome to The Motherload, a somewhat regular publication where I share hacks and tips for parenthood, recent recs in basically any category, plus anything else that’s on my mind! Thank you for being here!

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A glimpse into my mornings with two 💕

Hello hello! Coming to you from an eventful week — this is my last week of maternity leave before I return to work. Plus, my toddler is turning 3 tomorrow! Time is flyingggg. How is it that January felt like 100 days long yet February disappeared in a split second?

I’ve been mentally preparing to go back to work, and a few weeks ago, the idea really depressed me. These past few months on leave have been some of the happiest of my life, and that’s coming from someone with California roots who has spent the winter on the East Coast — so you know I mean it!

Being postpartum with a newborn is never easy, but this time around has been worlds apart from my first experience.

My last maternity leave was made up of the hardest months of my life. Let me tell you a bit about it.

When I had my first, everything felt like a struggle. After a grueling 38-hour labor, my daughter was whisked off to the NICU. Thankfully, she was only there for a few days, but once we got home, new challenges kept piling up. She had trouble latching, which meant breastfeeding wasn’t working. I pumped instead, and without knowing what I was doing, developed an oversupply, and spent months dealing with recurring clogged ducts. If you’ve ever had a clog you know just how painful it is — I had at least 2-3 a week in those early months. It was THE WORST. We also discovered that my baby had both a tongue and lip tie, which we eventually got revised, and that finally made nursing a bit better.

But, just as we were coming out of the nursing-trouble fog, we were blindsided by a serious medical diagnosis. My baby was only seven weeks old, and likewise, I was seven weeks postpartum (read: already emotional, hormonal, and not yet physically healed). The news was potentially life-altering, and simply put, I was not okay.

(For my daughter’s privacy, I won’t go into details, but I’m beyond grateful to say this issue is now miraculously resolved, and she is 100% healthy. I don’t take that blessing for granted for even a second. If you’re navigating a medical diagnosis with your child and need someone to talk to, I would absolutely love to. My inbox is always open 💛)

Me, postpartum with #1. Things look fine in this pic, but in reality I really was not doing well.

I share all this to highlight just how different things have been this time around.

This time, my labor was still long, and the recovery was still painful, but we had zero breastfeeding issues (she literally came out of the womb licking around and ready to latch) and, thankfully, no medical concerns. I’ve been able to enjoy my baby in a way I couldn’t before.

Last time, while I loved my daughter endlessly, anxiety, depression, and the massive identity shift of becoming a mom clouded those early months. It stole the “new mom” joy I had hoped for.

This time, I got to have it. The joy was present, filling me up every day. Cuddling and bonding with my smiley baby has been a dream, and watching my firstborn become a big sister and step into herself has been incredible. It’s truly been such a gift to be able to solely focus on my daughters over the last 4 months and live a bit of a slower-paced life.

Last time, going back to work felt like a relief — a break from the intensely emotional months I had just endured. I was eager for help with my baby, a change of pace, and the chance to start feeling like myself again — all things that would come with the return to work.

This time, these months have been so joyful and so deeply me, that I don’t feel like I need work to regain a sense of self. I’ve felt like myself since the moment I gave birth.

Even in those earliest postpartum days, there was something so special about the stillness and calm of having nowhere to be, no need to rush, just the permission to lounge with a tiny baby. As moms, we’re constantly moving, jumping from one thing to the next, rarely affording ourselves the kind of care and grace we do in the postpartum period. Normally, I couldn’t spend all day curled up on the couch with my baby — there would be to-do lists, work, and a toddler who certainly doesn’t want to cuddle all day. But in those raw postpartum weeks, I got that rare permission to just be, to soak in the slowness while others stepped in to help.

I’m so grateful to be able to look back on these past months so fondly — to have experienced a postpartum period that felt truly healing and joyful. What a blessing it is to have had my existing postpartum narrative rewritten.

Me, postpartum with #2. Pure joy!

But, alas, work is calling and I need to emerge from this blissful existence that I’ve gotten used to and head back to “the real world.” It’ll be an interesting transition back, I’m sure, and hopefully a good one.

Because I’m a list-maker (and I’m trying to pump myself up for this transition), here are a few things I’m actually looking forward to when it comes to returning to work:

• I actually like my job. I’m a product designer for a women’s health company which means that I get to design experiences for pregnant and postpartum women, those going through fertility treatments, and other sensitive phases of life. Coming back from leave, I have so many relevant ideas! I feel newly energized and ready to hopefully get back to making an impact on real women’s lives through my work.

• More control over my schedule. Yes, I’d rather be with my adorable baby, but let’s be real — your time isn’t your own when caring for a little one. I’m looking forward to some more structure, shaping my day in a way that lets me be productive at work and still get things done for myself and our home. Plus, I’ll have a nanny at home, so I’ll still get to see my baby throughout the day!

• New home office accessories (!!!). I treated myself to a pretty notepad, fresh pens, and a walking pad (which so far, I LOVE). A little novelty always makes work more fun, and I’m hoping these small upgrades keep me motivated.

I’d love to know: what was your postpartum experience(s) like? If you’re comfortable, share in the comments or hit reply to this email! I’m also all ears for advice on returning to work post baby.

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Little (and affordable) luxuries for busy moms

I love a little luxury, but as a busy mom of two young kids, I rarely have the time for indulgent experiences, and I’m (most of the time) not looking to splurge on pricey items. I read and enjoy a lot of product recommendation newsletters, but they often feature things that feel wildly expensive and impractical for this stage of life. (For example, I’m not at place where I want to buy a $130 sweater — that fees like a lot of money on something that will get spit up on instantly.)

So, I’ve curated a brief list of affordable luxuries — things that bring me joy without breaking the bank. Enjoy!

1. A heavenly body wash:
   I just treated myself to this body wash from Sol de Janeiro. It makes my skin feel super silky and I love how it smells!

2. Essential oil diffuser for instant spa vibes:
   As evident from item #1 — a good scent instantly makes me feel luxurious, so I keep this essential oil diffuser on my desk for a little dose of calm during the day. Just mix water with a few drops of your favorite oil, and suddenly, you’ve got a mini spa in your workspace or wherever want to put your diffuser.

   1. A quick hack: I have a few Anthropologie aromatic oils that I use in this diffuser. I love this method because it’s a longer-lasting way to enjoy their scents (as opposed to burning a candle, though I do love a good candle!) and it always makes me feel slightly fancy. My favorites:

      1. Capri Blue diffuser oil (Anthropologie)

      2. French Cade Lavender diffuser oil (Out of stock at Anthropologie, but available at Sephora!)

3. A coffee setup that feels like a daily treat:
   IMO, good coffee is integral to feeling luxurious. After my baby was born, we upgraded our coffee setup to this Ninja machine — it can do drip coffee (single cup or full carafe) on one side and espresso on the other! We love it so much and use it multiple times daily. It also has a built in milk-frother that works way better than all the other ones I’ve tried in the past.

   1. It’s currently around $250, but I snagged it for $190 during Black Friday. If you’re eyeing a new coffee maker, wait for the next big sale!

4. A cute, spill-proof travel mug:
   Related to coffee, I recently upped my thermos game with this super cute Simple Modern travel mug in “cream leopard”. In addition to taking my coffee to go in this mug, I also frequently use it at home — it’s much easier to nurse baby without worrying I’ll spill hot coffee on her! Also, the fact that its purpose is literally to keep coffee hot is always super helpful.

5. The softest, loungiest pajama pants:
   I’ve been living in Aerie clothes postpartum, and I randomly found the coziest ribbed, wide-leg pajama pants while shopping in-store. I couldn’t find the exact pair online, but this style comes close! They’re lightweight, stretchy, and peak comfort.

6. A gorgeous (and surprisingly thriving) house plant:
   I’ve unexpectedly become a plant mom (shocking), and my Monstera Peru brings me so much joy. It makes me feel like I’m living in luxury and like I have my life together. I got my plant on a whim at Home Depot but you can find plants in several other places!

   1. Confession: This plant was on the verge of death shortly after I got it a year ago, and I literally brought it into a plant store to ask the pros for some emergency advice. Turns out, I was barely watering it (for fear of overwatering), when in reality, it needed 16 oz of water every few weeks. Who knew that keeping a plant alive… required watering it? (Apparently not me!)

I love little luxuries and will definitely be doing more roundups in the future. In the meantime, tell me yours — I want to indulge in them all! Please and thank you!

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1. Using: Somehow my baby is teething already!? We have this cute teether toy that fits perfectly in her grasp, and is designed for the perfect toy-in-mouth experience. It’s been great — both for her comfort and for keeping her entertained!

2. Vibing: One of my favorite ways to set the tone in my home is by playing background music — it’s such a simple shift that makes a massive impact. In the mornings, I go for coffee-shop/chill vibes (think The Beatles, Noah Kahan, Vance Joy (LOVE him) or a pre-made playlist), classical music during the day while I’m working or moving around, and instrumental jazz in the evenings to wind down. We use an Alexa in the kitchen, which makes it super easy to keep the music going throughout the day. I’ve even used a “Dinner with Friends” playlist when hosting a recent dinner at my apartment. (Of course, my toddler occasionally hijacks the playlist with “I’m a Gummy Bear,” but that’s just part of the soundtrack of life with little kids!)

3. Listening: I’ve been a longtime fan of Liz Moody’s podcast (shoutout to my friend Carly for the great rec!), and her latest episode on decluttering and organizing featuring guest expert Shira Gill was so great. One idea that really stuck with me was hosting a clothing swap — a perfect way to part with those pieces you love but no longer wear, whether its because they don’t fit you anymore or it just doesn’t work with your vibe at this point. It’s a great alternative to donating when you’ve spent good money on something and would rather see it be loved and worn by a friend! Plus, it’s a fun way to refresh your own wardrobe without spending money. This episode was packed with great takeaways — including smart solutions for small spaces, clever car organization hacks, and a practical routine for managing random papers and documents. If you need a little motivation to tackle your decluttering goals, this is definitely worth a listen!

   1. Here is Shira’s Substack

   2. Here is Liz Moody’s Substack

      
      

4. Crying: If you want good vibes and a good cry, watch this incredibly heartwarming Super Bowl commercial (I know I’m a few weeks late lol)

5. Watching:

   1. Severance season 2 (Apple TV) — OH LORD this show is a doozy. It follows Mark Scout (Adam Scott), an employee of the fictional corporation Lumon Industries who undergoes a "severance" procedure that splits his workplace memories from his personal ones. And things get pretty crazy, let me tell you. The show is fantastic, and also super confusing but like in a fun way?! It’s the type of show where you never really know 100% of what’s going on but that’s kind of the point. The character development and actors are all phenomenal, the storylines are wacky yet super thought-provoking, and it’s a real “make you think” show about the corporate world and the relationship between home-life and work-life.

      

      1. if you’re unfamiliar, here is the preview for season 1

      2. and here is the preview for season 2

   2. One I actually wouldn’t recommend is Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy (Peacock) — it was cute… but honestly not great. If you liked the other movies and are looking for something light and fun this may fit that bill, but it’s definitely not a quality movie.

6. Following: Check out the Magna-Tiles Instagram page for creative ways to use them! My toddler just got more tiles for her birthday, so we’ll definitely be trying out some of these ideas soon.

   

   Magna-tiles Instagram!

Recent reads

Here are some Substack posts I’ve recently read and loved:

• Postpartum Hotels are a Depressing Scam from Radical Moms Union

• Never Seen Kids So Excited About Fruits And Veggies! from Time for Dins

• Romanticizing Weekdays at Home with my Toddler from Bang Voyage

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Next time you hear from me I will be back to my corporate self… (cue Severance theme music). Wish me luck!

💜 Rachel