What’s Different (and Better) About Postpartum Round Two
Issue #2: Reflections on going through this phase of life for the second time, plus some recent top recs and a tip for hiring help.
Hello hello, and happy Tuesday! I’m 10 weeks postpartum with baby #2 and have been reflecting on how this experience compares to my first. (TL;DR: It’s been so much better this time around!) To mark this milestone, here’s a list of my top 10 reflections from this stage of life as a second-time mom:
Just because one child had a tongue and lip tie, doesn’t mean the next one will. I stressed so much about this as a possibility and turns out that worrying was for nothing. Thank God!
Having a toddler means our days already have a set rhythm. Unlike the first time, I’ve brushed my teeth every single day since baby #2 arrived—thanks to the clear morning, afternoon, and evening routine.
I’ve already gone through the massive (and difficult) identity shift of becoming a mom, so this time around, the biggest transition feels logistical. I always manage to forget at least one thing when leaving the house with two kids - but I’ve remembered diapers most times so I’ll take the win!
Life hasn’t stopped the way it did for me last time. My toddler is still toddlering and I still need to stay on my toes with how to best parent her for what she needs right now. I’m more comfortable putting the baby down and tending to things that need to be done!
Recovery still matters, even if it feels easier than with your first. Even if you’re feeling better physically, you still had a baby—and your body needs time to heal. Especially in those early days, resist the urge to do it all. Get off your feet, take it slow, and let people help.
Community is so crucial, especially right now. I’ve been lucky to have several friends give birth within days and weeks of me, and it’s been so amazing having those people to hang out with IRL or keep company with via FaceTime during these days and nights. (If you find yourself navigating this phase alone, join some local Facebook/Peanut/other community groups or start your own!)
Meal trains are one of the biggest forms of kindness.
Sometimes labor and delivery just suck, no matter how much you try to prepare, no matter what mindset you try to have. It’s okay to be disappointed by your birth story – doesn’t mean you love your baby any less.
Give your body grace. It’s completely normal to look and feel different after birth, and it’s also okay to want to look the way you did pre-baby. Both can be true! But don’t forget that you grew and birthed a baby and that’s a massively impressive feat.
Moms are invincible and we can do anything. Usually multiple “anythings” at the same time. (My recent simultaneous “anythings” consisted of nursing my baby while helping my slippery, naked toddler out of the bath so she could pee on the potty. Win!)
More than anything, I just feel myself enjoying this time so much more than I enjoyed my first postpartum experience (I can debrief about that journey a different time). I am soaking in my time with my delicious baby and reveling in the amazing moments with my almost 3-year-old as well.
Was there a reflection in here that particularly resonated with you or that you’d like to read more about? Reply to this email or comment on the post in Substack to let me know!
And now, for my roundup of recs:
Reading:
(Confession: I’m not a huge reader (though I did just start ACOTAR!) so this section is all about children’s books for now):
The Rainbow Cleanup (The Home Edit for Kids / Clea Shearer and Joana Teplin)
I stumbled across this gem during a recent Barnes & Noble pilgrimage with my toddler. The illustrations are so cute and colorful, and it sneaks in actual lessons about the benefits of organization. Anything that gets my toddler more interested in cleaning up is a win in my book! (Bonus: The Home Edit also has a board book for even younger kiddos.)The Sour Grape (Jory John and Pete Oswald)
Part of a clever, hilarious series by the same author/illustrator duo. These books are as much fun for the adults reading them as they are for the kids. They’re a little advanced for my almost-3-year-old but perfect for slightly older children.
Watching:
Shrinking (Apple TV) Quite possibly one of the best shows I’ve ever watched. It’s worth the Apple TV subscription just for this (and for Severance, which is coming back this month 🥳😱).
The Sex Lives of College Girls (Max) Now in its third season, and honestly, this one’s the funniest yet. I’ve laughed out loud numerous times. It’s a fun, feel-good watch—highly recommend.
The Day of the Jackal (Peacock) A cat-and-mouse spy/assassin thriller set in Europe with a strong cast and gripping plot. So far I’m loving it!
Juror #2 (Max) I thought this legal-drama movie was great — it has a really fascinating plot and kept me on my toes until the end. Hence why I stayed up til 12:30 am watching it — oops!
Listening to:
A Day in Her Life (Podcast by Ellie Rineck) I recently discovered this podcast which is a fascinating listen for busy moms who love getting a peek into how others juggle it all.
The Next Big Idea (Podcast) Featuring bold, thought-provoking ideas from authors, this podcast often dives into the pop-psychology genre, and it’s consistently engaging.
Using:
Hydrojug water bottle I'm obsessed with this! It's massive, spill-proof (thanks to its foldable straw), and fits into cup holders. Perfect for staying hydrated at home or on the go.
Lastly, here’s my Motherload tip of the week:
When hiring help, be unapologetically specific in your job description. Don’t limit yourself to what you think is “standard.” For example, when my husband works late, I’ve hired a mother’s helper to cover the 6–8 PM stretch. Her tasks vary each night—helping with my toddler after school, holding the baby while I bathe the toddler, prepping lunch for the next day, folding and putting away laundry, cleaning the kitchen, or tidying the apartment. The key was that I was clear during the interview about needing someone flexible and capable of juggling these tasks. Having her has made a world of difference!
Do you have a tip to make motherhood easier? I’m all ears!
That’s all for now! Keep on keeping on and make sure you take some time for yourself this week. You deserve it!
~ Rachel
Yes! I found the transition from one to two so much easier than zero to one. I already knew what I was going to need and had help in place. For my first, I thought I could work from home by myself- didn’t make that mistake the second time around lol. It’s amazing though how much time you suddenly realized you had with one. Now if one kid finally sleeps in the other wakes up early, there is no escaping.
I had a horrible post partum experience with my first. I was so sick I couldn’t eat for weeks. I am thinking about more kids but I couldn’t imagine potentially going through that again!