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Sarah ‘19's avatar

It’s not always easy for everyone to come out, but my friends and I have done our best to maintain a tradition of dinner + challah braiding in honor of each friend who is almost ready to give birth. One of us will host and one of us will make a batch of dough and everyone else will cook or bring one thing to eat. We’ve also started making cute hospital care packages for the mom-to-be! Ends up being a fun girls night and sometimes the last time we all hang out before the new baby is born. (Already existing babies are always welcome to attend too).

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Rachel Beiser's avatar

This is such a sweet idea! And so spiritual I’m sure. I love that - thanks for sharing!

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Barbie Bauer's avatar

Any suggestions for long distance friendships?

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Rachel Beiser's avatar

Yes! Voice notes are awesome, and better yet, a standing “virtual date” on the calendar where you can properly catch up via phone or FaceTime or even Zoom. It’s also really great to try to get together once or twice a year if life and logistics allow for that. I listened to a podcast that said it’s better to live life with your friends when you’re together instead of just reporting on life lived apart. Making memories together is so important! Though I know it’s hard to make it work

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Barbie Bauer's avatar

Luckily my friendship happens to be with my SIL but it’s so hard to check-in even though we’re family. Thank you for your advice. We never communicate via voice note. I just sent a 50 second one to her for the first time, and she got to hear (no lie) 4 different interruptions during that time. At least she gets it and I don’t need to explain!

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Rachel Beiser's avatar

Omg I love that you already acted on this!!! And yes voice notes go a long way because they don’t just convey a message but you can also convey tone of voice, surroundings, etc.

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Kelly Gancas's avatar

My buddy and I send each other cheesy jokes over voice note

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Lindsay Scholz's avatar

I love the idea of voice notes, especially on days when sitting down to type out a lengthy check-in text feels daunting. For local friends who are also mothers, I've found that having a weekly standing playdate with our children has helped forge those strong bonds quickly – there is never pressure to attend, but it's always fun to have the option. For my best friends from college who are long-distance from me, we love sending quarterly care packages with gently used kid's clothes, a few treats we've been loving and more. It's definitely something to look forward to :)

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Rachel Beiser's avatar

Wow that's incredible that you're able to keep up a quarterly care package. that's so special. And I love the idea of the weekly standing play date -- where do you have it? someone's house?

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Katrin's avatar

Im not sure if you get BBC sounds across the pond but if you find a way and or can- CBBC make alot of audio content that our little loves (andys sound adventures, postpan pat) often they are episodes but the audio has been pulled but its good, tends to be slow and interesting

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Rachel Beiser's avatar

That's great!! thanks for the rec. I'll look into this. I think our Yoto player has BBC - I will investigate!

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Lisa Majeska's avatar

Love this! Also watched the four seasons rn it’s great

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Rachel Beiser's avatar

Yes!! it's so funny I love it

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HP's avatar

Great suggestions. Thank you.

Here are some of the podcasts we have loved over the years:

Science based -

But Why: A podcast for curious kids

Wow in the World

Animal stories

Picture books read by others -

Julie’s library

Story time with Phillip and Mommy

Also, if you have Libby, Hoopla or whatever your library uses for audiobooks you can download whole books. We loved the Paddington books and Winnie the Pooh as early chapter books. They are great for long car or plane trips.

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Rachel Beiser's avatar

Thank you so much!! These are such great idea. I’m going to make note of them and maybe list them out in a future issue!

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Mollie Donghia's avatar

This is a great post! As a homeschooling, stay at home mom, it absolutely is true that friendship and reaching out to others can slowly be placed on the back burner. I started doing monthly breakfasts with some friends from church and it became something many of us cherished on that first Saturday of the month. It takes intentionality to make these habits become regular rhythms.

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Rachel Beiser's avatar

I love that you're doing that! I don't have a regular friendship habit on the calendar just yet but it's something I'd love to do. We all need things to look forward to when life starts to feel overwhelming yet mundane at the same time!

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Lindsey Schiferl's avatar

Voice notes always make me feel more connected!

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Rachel Beiser's avatar

Yes agreed!!

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Malka Alweis's avatar

ooh great read! This advice is awesome and important. Honestly, sometimes I feel like I'm the "good" friend and it's lonely when it's not reciprocated even though it's really just that everyone is busy and doesn't have their life together. (maybe I'll subtly send my friends your article lol).

This also reminded me that I have a post sitting in my drafts called "How to Make Friends as an Adult." this inspired me to get back to it and publish it. So stay tuned for that article in the next few weeks <3

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Rachel Beiser's avatar

Haha please do send!! But yes I totally hear you and I think you’re right that people often don’t take the time to figure out how to make friendship work amidst all the chaos. I’m excited for your post on this subject!

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Miriam's avatar

Love this topic focus in the newsletter! I identify with the struggle to make time for friends in the suburbs with a baby/toddler and full time job. So great and helpful to read the tips :)

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Rachel Beiser's avatar

So glad it was helpful! I know at this stage of life it’s hard. I hope some of the tips work for you!

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