My Identity Crisis as a Working Mom + Simple Life Hacks
Issue #7: Plus LinkedIn games, a multi-use beauty product, and a kids' show that will make you feel better about screen time
Hi friends! This is my first full week back at work after maternity leave, and I’m not going to lie — it’s been an adjustment. I can’t quite wrap my head around the fact that my baby is already 4.5 months old and that my leave is officially over. The time flew by, and now I’m trying to reorient myself in a professional environment that somehow feels both familiar and completely foreign.
It feels like I’m expected to jump right back in without missing a beat, but that’s tough to do when my mind is fuller than ever (having two kids will do that!), when I’ve been waking up twice a night to feed, and when I just miss my baby. And honestly, what even is normal life? The idea that work is the default and everything else is just “time off” (parental leave, vacation, life events) is so ingrained. But why can’t all of it just be life? This is part of a larger issue, especially in America, where we tend to equate what we do for a living with who we are.
Over the past few months, it’s been refreshing to think of myself first and foremost as “mom of two” rather than the usual identity working mothers are expected to uphold — “mom and [job title].” Lately, I’ve been actively trying to untangle my self-worth from my career, not because I don’t like what I do, but because I don’t want my job to be the defining piece of my identity. I want it to be an element of my life, not the central one.
As I reintegrate into the workplace, I’m holding onto that perspective: work is a part of my life, but not the most important part — even if it does take up most of my day. I’m also trying to enforce better boundaries between work and home so that my sense of self doesn’t get swallowed up in the chaos of an already overloaded brain.
That’s my little meandering brain dump for the day. I know the transition will get easier, and I’ll find my footing as a mom of two who also happens to work. If you’ve ever felt this way, or have strategies that helped you navigate it, I’d love to hear.
As always, thank you for being here and reading my work. It means so much that you chose to give a few minutes of your time to me! Quick ask: If you enjoy what I’m doing here, can you let me know? Sometimes it feels like I’m sending things into the void, so any feedback — whether it's a like, a comment, or just a quick reply to this email — would mean the world to me!
Three quick life hacks:
Temporarily pin a "friend in need" contact.
If someone you care about is going through a tough time — whether they've experienced a loss, just become a new parent, or are facing mental health challenges — consider pinning their contact to the top of your messaging app. This simple action ensures they stay top of mind and makes it easier for you to check in regularly. I’ve done this for friends in difficult seasons, and not only does it help me be more present for them, but it also reassures me that I’m being a good friend.I really enjoyed this issue from Platonic Love about supporting a friend through grief. As someone who has been the friend in need before, these pointers resonated with me, and I try to utilize them whenever relevant.
Never fumble for your keys again — use a lanyard!
Every time I go out (literally every single time), I put on my “keys necklace” — a stretchy lanyard with my house keys and car fob attached. This stays on my neck throughout my outing, so I never have to think about where my keys are when locking or unlocking my door or car. When I get home, the lanyard goes straight on a hook by the front door. This small habit has completely eliminated the daily scramble for keys and made getting out the door one step easier. I like this one from Amazon but really anything of this nature will do!
L: my key lanyard in action! stays on my neck everywhere I go. R: my setup for said lanyard at home, right in my entryway Speed up boiling water by using hot water.
When you need to boil water for cooking, start with already hot water from the tap. Maybe this is common sense, but when this thought first occurred to me, I felt like I had struck gold! This simple trick drastically speeds up the cooking process and gets your meal on the table faster.
Have you stumbled across any A+ life hacks lately? I’d love to hear - drop it in the comments or hit reply to this email to let me know!
Playing: LinkedIn Games
Moshe and I have been playing the New York Times games for years now — it’s part of our evening routine. We recently discovered, much to our excitement, that LinkedIn has their own set of games as well! Just like NYT, LinkedIn has a combo of logic and word games. And they’re similar in that you can only do one of each a day. Plus - something fun and mildly invasive is that you can see which of your LinkedIn connections have played the games that day too (gives me more small talk content with my coworkers 😝). Give them a try!
Using: Jones Road Miracle Balm
This is a great product if you’re going for that no-makeup makeup look. I actually got this product a few years ago and didn’t love it at first, but I tried it again more recently and it’s now become a staple for me. It’s called Miracle Balm, and I have it in the shade Dusty Rose. It’s literally the only beauty product I’ve been using on my face — I put it on my cheek bones for a slight bronze/blush/glowy look. The product description says you can also use it on your lips — I should try that!
Buying: bubble bath and bath crayons
On long Sundays alone with my kiddies, I am in desperate need of making mundane tasks more interesting to speed some elements of the day along, and eliminate as many meltdowns as possible. Bath time is one of these instances that many parents hate — and I get it. The transition into the bath, out of the bath, the water that inevitably gets everywhere… it can be a lot. Last week I gave my toddler a plastic spoon and a cup to use in the bath as a form of novelty and it totally worked. I’ve been thinking about other simple things to get to make bath time easier and more enjoyable for everyone, and I finally got myself some bubble bath and bath crayons. I’ll see how they work out and will report back!
Watching: Catie’s Classroom
If you’re looking for a kid’s show that won’t make you want to poke your eyes out and is educational, I’d love to recommend Catie’s Classroom! In different episodes, Catie tackles all kinds of fun activities like science experiments, art projects, baking, and even field trips (my toddler loves the airplane one where they actually show Catie in the cockpit flying with a pilot!).
It’s by far the least annoying show, Catie actually has a great singing voice, and the educational content makes me feel zero guilt about using screens. Highly recommend!
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💜 Rachel
Any bath gimmick, my husband’s bought it. Bath crayons, bubbles, bath bombs- all have been used to incentivize my son to get into the bath without dragging his feet (“but Mommy I want to be dirty”). And they work too! He was especially excited when we had a new bath bomb to look forward to every night. He’s the classic cries about bath time but then cries that he doesn’t want to come out lol.
About work- I found it too overwhelming juggling everything that after eight months back at the job I cut my already part-time hours by half. Luckily my company was able to find me a flexible position where I don’t have to be glued to my computer or emails all day long. I work when I can work and I don’t stress when I can’t. I do love my job, so I’m super super grateful that I’m able to keep it while also having my primary focus be on my two kids during the day.
I am a first time mom and have a 6 month old. I recently returned to work and I've been loving your newsletter, it feels so relatable. thank you for sharing <3